The Eight Year Old Pill Pusher

honorableMy daughter is a pill pusher. I have friends who describe horrific tales about their kids having to be held down by two parents and perhaps a grandparent or two to get the medicine down. Not my girl. She actually seemed a bit melancholy today when she downed her last dosage of antibiotic for an ear infection. It might be the appealing hot pink shade of the liquid in a bottle. Or, maybe her palette is so sophisticated that she actually enjoys her twice daily cocktail.

I have never been one to push vitamins on my kids, but after a recent trip to the doctor I was told my youngest son really needed his daily dose. Might as well make everyone take it, I figured. Knowing that the little guy would not partake unless he saw his siblings do the same, I started with the older two. I am sure it’s not the Scooby doo shape that entices my gal, maybe my middle guy, but not Julia. However, she grabbed the bottle with delight and has every day since, not only administered the vitamin to herself, but to her siblings as well. And it is no small feat. The chair has to be dragged across the kitchen- good thing she takes her vitamins- to the cabinet far out of her reach. Next, she needs to hoist herself up on the countertop where she risks life and limb by ducking as she opens up the door. She is faithful in this quest. Upon her safe return to the ground, she calls her brothers in and administers the meds. What I find so fascinating about this whole routine is that they listen to her. I am fairly certain that neither my husband nor I would be met with the same enthusiasm.

So, all this brings questions to my mind. First, is it my daughter’s destiny to deal drugs? If so, will this take the form of “Julia MD” or “Julia DD?” (Drug dealer) Is her obvious determination to seek out all things medicinal an indication that she is more likely to engage in experimental drug use as a teen? I actually had no idea that she knew how to open those child proof bottles until the other day, an obvious sign of devious tendencies.

Maybe I should be happy that she is so cooperative in this arena, as it is one less battle to contend with. I could feel proud of her independent streak, and the effect it is having on her brothers (Jonah now insists on administering his inhaler to himself.) I should feel good that she is so responsible, and that on the many frantic mornings her father and I forget to dole out the meds, she remembers. I could feel relieved that her brothers will willingly listen to her, even when they ignore our urgent calls. After all, this quality could be helpful in my old age; she will undoubtedly take excellent care of her father and me.

But, should I continue to worry, I can console myself with this. If she meanders off course during her adolescence, (DD) I can always find her stash, turn her in and it is one less college tuition to pay for. And, if she stays on the straight and narrow, and does become “MD” I will always have someone to prescribe me something to take the edge off should I be busy fretting about her younger brothers.

Published in: on April 22, 2009 at 11:34 pm  Comments (4)  
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